I don’t know. I just really have a hard time letting people get really close to me. You might think that we are really close, but honestly we probably aren’t. And it sucks. Because I’m always loud and happy around people, but I don’t let myself get sad in front of anyone. I guess, the last time I ever was sad in front of anyone, I was too “emotional” and apparently that was always a bad thing. And I guess because of that, things went downhill. And I mean, it’s kind of affected a lot of things.
I honestly believe that sometimes, even in a relationship one person is more in love with the other. When I watch all those wedding videos, I can’t help but look at the grooms face and wonder “does he love his soon to be wife as much as she does” or vice versa. I mean you can tell when someone is so in love with the other, and I just wonder if the other person feels the same.
It just scares me.
